11 Comments
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Franco Amati's avatar

Wonderful read. I always appreciate the openness and vulnerability in your writing. I think many readers will get a lot out of this very relatable piece.

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Elaine R. Frieman's avatar

Thank you so so so much! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🥰

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Franco Amati's avatar

I don't think happiness is less entertaining to read. I get what people are drawn to disaster and faux pa, sometimes drama and suffering could make a person feel better about their own life. But there's a place for contentment and satisfaction too, and it can be just as rewarding to bask in the joy of others, especially if it is well earned and deserving. :) so, in short, keep writing about it all. The good, the bad, and the beautifully mundane.

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Elaine R. Frieman's avatar

🫶🏻 haha that’s lovely — settled lives are “beautifully mundane” and I love it!

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Chris V's avatar

I really agree that the beautiful and mundane are equally interesting to read. Lord knows you’ve earned them. Keep going on the journey and thanks for the shout out!

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Elaine R. Frieman's avatar

Thank you, lovely friend 🥰🤩

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Emma Kriskinans's avatar

Loved this Elaine. It must be quite scary putting yourself out there by testing more intimate content in your writing - I've had similar qualms. But I think it speaks to the connections you're building here and your own confidence in telling your story. Also the stability that your relationship brings as a safe haven: I didn't have that either until my current relationship and it's a gamechanger.

On that note, I love this (slightly sexy) John Donne poem on this theme too (which as a fellow lit grad, you've probably read!) Though it's more about lovers parted by the seas, I think it speaks beautifully to the safe haven a steady and loving partner can bring and how that supports our own individuality.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44131/a-valediction-forbidding-mourning

PS - love Philippa Perry too!

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Elaine R. Frieman's avatar

I read this many years ago now but yes, I don’t think I fully understood how amazing love can be with the right partner. ❤️ I’ll have another read. Thanks for sharing. 🤩😘

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Barbs Honeycutt's avatar

Thanks for the shoutout and for sharing some interesting articles~ definitely going to check them out :) I think reading about the happy times is just as nice as reading about disaster dates, especially with your current insight and awareness of your patterns.

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Elaine R. Frieman's avatar

🫶🏻😅🙏🏻 Can’t wait to read more of your funny, charming adventures and culture shock capers. ❤️🥰

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Tacita B's avatar

It can be so disorienting trying to figure out the dynamic of a healthy relationship after all the past bs. I loved reading about how you and your husband found your rhythm - and how, like you said, you keep choosing each other.

Also, thank you for being so open about your sex life. I love reading about the sex lives of women, especially in long-term relationships - i don’t feel like i come across it much.

And no, I don’t think happiness makes writing any less compelling. I see ‘writing’ as ‘feeling’ (I know, what an unbearably wanky thing to say), but when someone’s joy transmits through the screen like osmosis - oooh I LOVE. I think human brains are wired to be drawn to a negative thing because of our survival mechanisms so dw about happiness turning anyone off.

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