#44 THE SECOND PERSON I MET AT STARBUCKS: THE STORY CONTINUES
#44 THE SECOND PERSON I MET AT STARBUCKS: THE STORY CONTINUES
The guy who looked like he wouldn’t be amiss amongst the Hemsworth brothers
Read this previous post for context about the super hot guy who I met at Starbucks who seemed to think that I was cool, beautiful, and interesting, not broken, neurotic, and a total mess. Just like all dream men, he was just an out-of-reach fantasy that never was, but a lovely, sustaining idea.
Our email conversation continued
Noah: I'm relaxing now at the hotel. I have to go in and work from 6 until midnight. Then I'm free until Texas.
Elaine: So why travel all the way from Texas to Georgia? Are you a very specific specialist in that they couldn't find one in Georgia to test the security of its online networks? I know that's an awkward sentence construction. Perhaps it makes sense?
Noah: Essentially, yes. I'm doing a very niche service expertise area. Not bragging, but I've built credibility by publishing articles, blogs, software, and presentations at conferences. So consulting firms have reached out to me to do sub-contracting work for their clients. It's basically networking. This guy I spoke with at a conference has a consulting firm and one of his clients is a bank here in Columbus. He hired me to come out here and do these services. So I'm posing as a consultant for his company. Does that make sense?
Hey, question for you...you said that you haven't worked at jobs for very long or something like that. Why is that? Curious…
Wouldn’t it have been cool if my response was I was some kind of heiress and not a broke grad student with a badly paid teaching gig. No idea where these other message exchanges came in. Text? Over the phone? Who knows. Sorry, folks, this is all the remaining “evidence” I have from these exchanges.
Elaine: So basically you're a big shot in your field. ;) I get it. May I have links to some (or one) of these articles?
Well, I'm just "starting" my career. I've been in college for going on 7 years (4 Bachelor's, 2 Master's coursework, additional 1 writing my Master's thesis), so in grad school I taught college for one year and now I'm on my first "outside" job. I'm only 24, so I'm just starting out. It's not a job performance thing. Also, my contract this semester—the adjunct contract–-was just for a semester and not for a year, so I'm not teaching at the same college next semester. I'm–hopefully–going to teach at a different school with better pay. I still need to figure out what career path I'll ultimately take–if I'm going to continue down the teaching path, if I'll go into publishing and/or writing and/or both, or if I'll do something else entirely (I've considered Pharm Reps, etc). I have learnt, though, that it is all about networking. I just applied for a publishing job in Denver through one of my uncle's contacts. I didn't get an interview because my experience isn't really relevant for such a high-level publishing job, but the lady did take the time to apologize for not being able to offer me an interview and gave me some very helpful advise on how to break into the publishing industry. And my uncle says she may pass on my name to other contacts, etc.
I've lived in Columbus since August. I moved here on a whim. I interviewed and I moved over a weekend. I'm all for taking opportunities when they come.
So, yeah, I didn’t get my contract renewed at that one school maybe because of performance. Who knows? The programme director didn’t like me very much. I wanted to get into publishing and only OVER a decade later am I there…so I guess that’s the long game? And not even “glam” publishing like books but petchems, so is that the pharma rep thing sneaking in? I mean petchems/oil/gas go into some pharma products… It’s a stretch, I know. Bottom line: teaching was not for me.
Only 24! Growing up ever so slightly…
Noah: That's so interesting. You see, I was right. You are a very interesting person. Life is all about taking chances like that and going for it. I like how you can just move on a whim. Do you like it here so far in Columbus [Georgia]? High level Publishing job, nice...sounds like it would be great; you should definitely go for what makes you happy and passionate. What genre interests you? Pharm reps make a lot of money. Denver is one of those cities I could definitely see myself living in, with all of the mountains and outdoor things to do. You're pretty smart and have your stuff together for a 24 year old. That's attractive too.
Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal, in case you didn't notice (quote from Anchorman).
Again, seemingly like an encouraging, perfect, successful, communicative, fantasy man of indeterminate age. Who can even write sentences. Also how cute and idealistic was I? I mean I thought that my ideas and dreams and not hard chasing could land me the dream job I wanted. I mean I don’t know how people end up as pharm reps or working for Penguin but I clearly didn’t have the hustle in me to make it happen.
Elaine: That (the blogs, presentations, etc) all looks very impressive and – most likely – indecipherable for me.
I asked for links to what he does and he delivered…
I'm not all that together, but – theoretically – in a few years I will be. Yeah, pharm reps appeals to me for sure. I used to be an intern at a hospital – a diabetes center – when I was in my first year of grad school and the pharm reps fed our office lunch each day and I got to see them a lot, so that's what got me interested and I recently dated a doctor and I asked him about the job and for more info, etc, and it seems like it's difficult to get into, but maybe possible. It wouldn't be something I'd want to do more than 3-5 years, though. My passion lies in the arts. I ultimately would like to be a writer (like 92% of English majors), but I need a "real" job too.
What genre of literature/publishing? Just general fiction. Usually, I like to read realistic fiction, fiction with a large degree of verisimilitude, or, conversely, fantastical fiction (Harry Potter, Peter Pan, etc), but my degree is in British Victorian literature. I'm also really into writers like Ford Madox Ford, Henry James, Edith Wharton, T.S. Eliot, Ernest Hemingway, Virginia Woolf, etc. And artists from that time period. More for their innovation than their literal art.
Yawn! Oh the ideals and bollocks of youth…
And if I don't do publishing or pharm reps or writing, when I was in high school I wanted to be the editor of Seventeen magazine (because they had politics and stuff and pretty clothes – tongue in cheek). But, realistically, being a magazine stylist would be way fun – you get to dress models up in pretty clothes and accessories for photographers to take photos, but I'm not sure how to get into that...or any career besides teaching really.
See, I'm not together at all. So many doors could potentially be open for me, but I have to pick which pathway to take and there are so many. I'm very talented, you see, so I could do virtually anything. And modest. ;)
So many doors were not open…
I'd prefer to live in Chicago over Denver, but Denver's pretty cool. I like the pretty mountains. I'm not one for desert climates and my hair looks terrible without any humidity (shallow consideration). Chicago seems way cooler.
Do I like Columbus? Why yes. I've met some cool people. Do I plan on living here after May or June? No. Most definitely not.
So, tell me about you and why do you live in Texas – which is inexplicably one of my least desired places to live after New Mexico or Kansas.
I’ve still never been to any of those three places but I have heard better things about Texas (like Austin) and one of our offices is in Houston.
Noah: Yes, I see, you are a woman of many talents...and modest too.
Chicago is way cool. I've visited there several times.
So why Texas? Good question. Well my parents moved me down to TX from Michigan, where I was born (Detroit)...so I didn't have much of a choice, back then. Ironically, even while living in TX, I was whimsical about Michigan because I looked up to my dad, and he always talked about how awesome Michigan was, and also, because I wanted to play competitive ice hockey. So ironically, I went back to Michigan for college. Funny enough, when I got up to Michigan, I missed Texas, and my family was there. After graduating...I decided to move back, and I haven't left since. I've often though of moving away for a while and trying another city. So to answer your question – I do like Dallas. It's a nice city. Not sure about the people sometimes.
How would you know that Texas is your least desirable place to live? Or for that matter, to visit, if you haven't even seen it? (Asked with a smile on my face, of course)...
So what are you up to the rest of the day, and tonight?
Elaine: Grading's taking longer than anticipated; therefore, I'll leave in the morning.
For some reason, I've not heard good things about Texas despite never having been there. Maybe it's an okay place and I hope to be proven wrong, but – whereas, Chicago gives me "good vibes" when I visit and I'm totally, like, "I can live here" – the thought of Texas doesn't give me good vibes – conservatism, big hats, big-bigness, Texan Southern-ness, and the like.
Sorry for being reductive, Texans.
As for your story on missing Texas whilst in Michigan, it's funny how we construct our relationship to past places and then we discover, perhaps, that our perceptions are different than thought. I've moved around quite a bit so I easily construct a new idea of "home" whilst missing a little of the old place, but I like to look forward to the future. Old places – like England or Orlando or, recently, even Valdosta – give me a sense of nostalgia for things past; they constructed and shaped part of me at a given time and I enjoyed friendships with certain people, but I look forward to new things too. I value novelty and adventure. I try not to miss old things for too long. It's limiting. One can't go backwards.
Okay, so now for the rest of the day...grade the remaining 33 essays and anything else I've forgotten to grade up to this point, pack up things, clean up my kitchen, and either a) drive really late at night or b) (more realistically) drive at a semi-early time. I just talked to my little sister (who's 8) on the phone and she's excited about my coming.
If I wasn't so very busy, I'd suggest we meet up for tea. Hmm.
Hope you have a good night.
:)
3 days later, 13 December 2011
Needless to say, we never did meet up…
Heya Elaine!!
So sorry for the delay. I made it back safe into Dallas. The last night in Columbus was a whirlwind. The pace gets really frenetic at the end of these projects. I barely slept at all the last night. Now I've just been working on documentation for the customer. Documentation is not as fun as being onsite, but it's very important.
So, how have you been? I saw that you are headed to England? Awesome! Where are you going?
Texas - I understand what you are saying. But Dallas has a fantastic vibe, and so does Austin. It's a visceral thing which is very subjective...but I'd say, give it a chance. You know, you should take a trip down here sometime. I'd love to be your tour guide. I'm quite good.
Wow. I must say that you have a way with words. That really resonates with me about past memories and making connections with people. I am nostalgic too and value adventure and novelty. I think I've been stuck in a rut, having lived here in Dallas for so long. I love to travel, and there are a lot of places I think I could like to explore, adventure, and live in the US: San Diego, Washington DC, Raleigh, Chicago, Boston, Portland, Denver, Seattle, Montreal, Quebec. Where do you think you will go next?
How did the get together with Mum go?
That would have been great meeting up for a tea. Maybe someday we can do that...
Hope you're doing great. :-)
3 further days later, 16 December 2011
Is this turning into an epistolary novel? (16 December is my older sister’s, Jae’s, birthday)
How've you been? The semester just wrapped up for me. It's a little surreal because this semester has been my most trying semester yet. Only one of my students (out of all of them) made an A. I would have liked to have given more students As, but it didn't work out numerically. At the uni I taught at last year, I could give the students whatever grade I wanted, so, for example, if they'd earned a B, but I felt they deserved an A, I could give them an A. Naturally, I'd never give a student lower than what he or she earned because I couldn't justify it and there'd be complaints. Students never complain about getting a higher grade, though.
England on Sunday! I'm excited, but – for some reason – right before I fly out to take a trip it's very stressful with all the preparations and I never much feel like going until I'm there. Also, I won't see [Captain Thor] for a whole month or my friends, Anna and Brittany, and others, so that's pretty sad. But on the upside I'll see my Dad, grandparents, sister, friends, cousins, etc who I don't see as often. I hope I have time to squeeze everyone in; there are so many people to see and I mostly want to focus on spending time with my Dad.
Oh first mention of my actual boyfriend.
You asked where I'm going in England. Well, I'm from the North West portion of England, so I'll spend most of my time in a village tucked away in the Pennines, which is a mountain range in England – albeit a set of low ones, called Todmorden, which is where my older sister lives. She's having a baby and, well, as excited as I am to be an aunt, pregnancy scares me a little and I have to go to do doctor-y things with her such as find out the sex of the baby, etc and I'm not sure how much I'll like that. I don't much like the idea of my body changing so much so I'm kinda iffy on the whole subject of if I want children in the future, but that's entirely tangential.
Poor Jae and my future niece Caroline. I was very excited about going to Jae’s scans with her actually so I didn’t remember feeling this way. But Caroline at her first scan wouldn’t roll over to reveal her sex and at one point she looked like a skull on the scan and then all spine.
My Dad lives in a village four miles from Todmorden called Cornholme. You can Google image all of these things. I'm from an industrial town called Oldham. That's where many of my friends live and my cousins. My Grammy lives in Leeds – it's a very pretty city. My grandfather lives in Burton Wood. It's relatively close to Liverpool. And I have friends in Manchester too. I'm not really going to do "exciting" things. I'll just be hanging out with my family. It's home to me. It's comfortable. Sometimes I long to do more European travel and wish I didn't spend all my money just going to England to see family, but I can't really justify flying directly to France or somewhere else without stopping off to see them first and as I don't have time for a weekend jet-set to Europe, I'll stay in England. I might convince someone to go to Edinburgh with me for a few days, but we'll see.
I didn’t really get to travel more widely until I lived in Germany with my first husband. And my family and I all went to Edinburgh after I’d moved to England (with my second husband Michael before we were married) and my Grandfather and Uncle Steve were there and it was such a magical family trip because my Grandfather has since passed. Also, Todmorden and Cornholme are only two miles apart. Doh!
I've heard really good things about Austin. A friend of mine just moved there and he said it was such a fun city. Perhaps, one day, I'll visit Texas and maybe I'll take you up on the offer of tour guide. ;)
I totally want to live in so many cities, but I'm not sure I'll get to live in them all. I'd love to live in Chicago. I keep looking for teaching jobs at universities and colleges there, but there are none and the jobs are highly competitive, so I'm not sure I have enough years behind me to do that. My uncle works in publishing and lives in Denver, so that's most likely my next move (although I wish it was Chicago). A contact of my uncle gave me some pretty sound advise on breaking into the publishing world so I might do that next. I've been scoping out teaching jobs there too – because, well, I need to eat and pay rent whilst I break into a new career. I've never been to Boston, but I'd love to go; I've heard it's lovely. I really enjoyed D.C., but it's expensive. And I haven't been to the other places you mentioned either – San Diego, Raleigh, Portland, Seattle, or Montreal. Those places all sound so fun. Wish I could go. Wanderlust! It's the perfect word to describe how I feel.
Yeah, so none of these grand career plans or moving plans ever happened. I’m in awe of people who just go for it. Who save up a bit of money and just move to a place and hope for the best, sometimes failing spectacularly and sometimes winning magnificently. Such bravery really.
I mean people think because I have lived in the UK, Germany, and the US that I have been “adventurous” but I really played it safe. I went with people to places except for my final move to the UK but then I was moving in with my father so it was hardly brave. I knew I wouldn’t starve (even if he is vegan). (I wrote this well before I had any inkling my father would die this year.)
I had a lovely time with my mum and little sister, Hannah, who's 8 years old (my older sister is 29). We mostly just hung out. I took my sister to the movies. We made a ginger bread xmas tree, which was a disaster, but mum said we were "giggling like little girls" when we were making it. I also took my sister for lunch with my friends [Charles – the CFO, where we were legit just friends at this point] and Darcy and to dinner with another friend, Chester. The four hour drive, however, is not so fun. I got through it by listening to The Great Gatsby there and back and part of The Old Man and the Sea. Still haven't finished it. I prefer the beautiful prose of Fitzgerald to the blunt, direct and simple prose of Hemingway. Not that I don't like other stories by Hemingway – I do.
Captain Thor had kindly put the audiobooks on CD or something because I didn’t have an iPhone until I got married for the first time.
Since the semester’s over I'll have time to read some books. I need to finish The Remains of the Day and Saturday. And – gasp! – I plan on reading some pop-fiction, Eat, Pray, Love because I've heard good things. Although I'm not normally one to read hype fiction. Actually, I'd like to pick up a copy of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo at some point and The Hunger Games trilogy. I've heard those four books are actually worth a read. What do you like to read?
Now I almost exclusively read pop fiction and chick lit and love it. Why not be entertained with a lovely, fun, exciting read? That’s not to say I don’t still love a bit of classic lit or new literary fiction but my tastes are varied now.
I'm doing laundry right now and it's rather boring. I think I might watch some YouTube videos or finish up my book. Not decided yet. Might watch the YouTube because I'm in the mood for something a tad more mindless than reading. Laundry is a big event for me because I pretty much do it quarterly – this may be slightly hyperbolic, but only slightly. I have so many clothes that it's a 20+ load process. And I usually still have a closet full of clothes I just run out of things that I like to wear or I'm left with cocktail dresses, which are entirely inappropriate for work. I go to that Starbucks in Columbus a lot – in fact, I used practically to live there as it was my "office" since I didn't get one at work – and one of the managers told me he sees me almost every day and he's never seen me wear the same outfit twice.
Oh the be arsed to dress creatively again – or have the body for my smaller clothes, rather. Also, I forgot with this tech college job I had no office. It was the worst. Also, I think this was the era of YouTube vids a la Fleur de Force and Happy Slip and other “beauty channels” before it all became “lifestyle” brands and salesy.
I want some tea! I also like nonsequiturs.
Rolls eyes.
What have you been up to? Let me know!
2 days later, 18 December 2011
Hey Elaine,
I've been doing well. It's been a pretty good weekend. Friday night I took it pretty easy and went out to dinner with a new friend, and last night I hung out with a buddy and helped him celebrate his GF's graduation. I drove up 45 minutes north of Dallas to a city called Denton. It was fun and a nice change of pace to get out of town.
Today is a pretty lazy day of working out, a little work, and watching football. It's nice when you don't party hard and drink alcohol the night before, because you can be more productive and wake up earlier, sans headache.
That’s how I feel now in my thirties re alcohol. I don’t drink all that often anymore – maybe once or twice a month and on one evening if that. A far cry from my binge-drinking-to-oblivion twenties.
That is interesting about grading your students. Sounds like students should get what they deserver, IMHO, and screw the curve system. That's scarcity theory that there are only a certain number of As, Bs, etc., and only the students who beat out others deserve the 'A'. I feel you on that.
That's so exciting about England. You're probably leaving soon or already left. Have a blast.
Very interesting about where you are from and spending time with family. I don't blame you on wanting to be home and spend quality time with them. The jetsetting European trip can always come in due time.
Yes, definitely keep me in mind for being your personal tour guide of Dallas / Austin. We would have a lot of fun, and I think you would find Texas surprisingly charming and intriguing, in a way you hadn't anticipated.
Wanderlust, LOL. Nice. I could definitely live in Chicago myself, and Denver. I really want to see, live, and experience it all. Life is so short, so we have to prioritize and decide what is most important.
I like to read a lot, but rarely ever get to read for pleasure anymore. I love to read fiction and used to all of the time. I like thrillers, espionage, mystery type of pop fiction. It's good to have mindless entertainment sometimes. One of my favorite authors is actually English (I think). Ken Follett. He writes thrillers and epic novels that span generations. Like 'Pillars of the Earth', for example. I also really like Nelson Demille. He's written a couple of books which are my favorite of all time (Word of Honor, the Gold Coast). I believe 1 (or both) of them are in some American college literature courses. Word of Honor definitely moved me. One of my favorite American authors who still lives today is Richard Ford. He is still alive today and is one of my favorite more serious authors. He won the Pulitzer and is considered one of the better American writers who is still alive today. He is actually friends with my father and they roomed together in college – Michigan State. I once wrote Richard a letter and he responded to me, and the letter is precious to me. In the letter, I told him I wished I could go back in time to when my dad was in his 20s and 30s, and just see what he was like, and that I felt a connection with Richard because he knew my father that way. He sent me this awesome letter...basically describing my dad in a way that I never knew, and I kind of cherished the letter.
I never asked Noah about this concept that he described, but reading it back now, I love this sense of nostalgia and regarding this letter as a precious artefact. I didn’t even ask if his father had died. It sounds as if this longing for his father may have been because his life was cut short.
At Derek Leyland’s funeral his friend from his school days, Peter, and his nephew, Christopher, talked about his life. Peter told of a heroic young man who saved two people’s lives, who could fix anything (including a bike when it had been crashed into a car), and was immensely brave. His nephew talked of the “cool” and fun uncle who was easy to talk to and how they used to play the game of “sardines” (can you get any more British than that?). Talk of holidays, adventure, bravery, kindness, strength (mentally and physically), intelligence. So, I can relate to Noah’s sentiment. How wonderful if we could see into the past of people we care about. Wouldn’t it be great to see Jenny and Derek’s life in the 1960s like a film or my parents in the 1980s? Or my grandparents in the 1970s?
Anyhow, not to digress, but Richard Ford is a really, really interesting guy, with some really interesting views on life. He actually never had kids because he wanted a strong relationship with his wife and the freedom for him and Christine to travel and have adventures. Here is an interview of him: [link which no longer works]
Check out the 'Sportswriter' or 'Independence Day'. You can read reviews online.
Hope the laundry went well, lol! I hear you on SBux. I actually have a dozen or so remote offices here in Dallas. They are all Starbucks.
Any interesting YouTube videos?
Have a safe and enjoyable trip to England!
Next up, the conversation continues…for one more post…
Don’t forget to check out the other forty-three posts I’ve written, including the one on why I’m writing this newsletter/blog in the first place – and the odd “present day snippet” of what I’m up to lately.
Did you ever meet your “fantasy” person at the wrong place and time? Did you ever find it easier to correspond with someone than be in person?