BONUS MATERIAL: THAT TIME I SENT MY ENGLAND PLAY-BY-PLAY DIARY TO CAPTAIN THOR

He didn’t reply so I guess he didn’t even bother to read it.

I haven’t given any ‘bonus material’ to my paid subs in a while so I’m going to add some ‘bonus’ posts of the message exchanges. I’m not sure if people want to read them or if they prefer if I incorporate some bits into a ‘regular’ post but here goes.

I visited my friends and family in England in December 2011 for Christmas and New Year. I talk about it in this post here.

#43 THE REALLY, REALLY HOT ONE, AKA THE SECOND PERSON I MET AT STARBUCKS

Financially, it was a very unwise decision as I had a very small amount of savings and my contract had not been renewed at my teaching job. Annie, a teacher friend of mine, did later get me a job with her at Ft Benning so I’m thankful for the lovely friends I had then. Annie has led an interesting life in that she grew up on the Ivory Coast (Côte d'Ivoire) with her missionary parents (and siblings) and she has lived all over the world; she’s currently in Germany after teaching in Puerto Rico for several years.

Here’s the England trip play-by-play I emailed to Captain Thor which most likely he didn’t even read but I was definitely really writing for myself to document the trip (as was my wont) and using ‘emailing’ as an excuse to do so.

Monday, 26 December 2011, Boxing Day

[Captain Thor],

I began this letter late Christmas Day as time bled into Boxing Day, but I am only sitting down to finish it again on this Tuesday morning. It’s half one and I’m sitting in bed at Joanne’s house staring at the calming spring green walls and white and green duvet cover. It’s a pleasant room and rather large for an English house. Houses are getting increasingly bigger here as people apply for building permission for extensions and things like that; however, this house once belonged to Joanne’s grandmother and no such additions have been made—but the inside has been completely renovated because her parents paid to have it completely re-done before she and her boyfriend moved in, so every room in the house has been carefully designed by Joanne herself. It’s all very lovely.

Joanne, Ruby, and Kate were close childhood friends, so I will have mentioned them before.

Sunday, 18 December to Monday, 19 December

Well, Brittany drove me to the airport on this day and we took a turn off in Newnan, Georgia—the wrong exit—where we could see dense forests with small dots of light and a very desolate-looking town to which Brittany cried, It didn’t look like this the last time I was here. And I wondered how towns could shift overnight. Funnily enough, I thought we’d set off at a decent time and that we’d make it to the airport early. I think we left around half past six and my flight was at nine. In my head I thought we’d have had time to sit at Starbucks and take it easy (slightly) before I ventured through security. Never mind. I should know that things never go as I plan them—although things do tend to work out in my favour nonetheless. I’m not sure how long Brittany and I drove through the wrong end of Newnan past an abundance of dodgy-looking Mexican restaurants and the “heart” of the downtown area—some run-down tin shacks—but we eventually turned around and saw this man strolling alongside the road at night with no reflective gear on his person who frightened me since I wasn’t expecting him. When we found the real place we took ages deciding where to eat; there was a lot to choose from. I think Brittany and I always need a third party with us when we eat—except she hates third parties—but neither of us will decide. I quite liked my sandwich at Panera Bread. Or at least I think I did. I may have just been very hungry. Brittany didn’t eat all of her food as usual. Or maybe she was just trying to rush out of the place so we could get on the road again.

After Brittany dropped me off curbside—to the dismay of the angry lady in the car behind us, who kept honking her horn as if it would suddenly make Brittany’s car disappear—or the cars jammed in the drive in front of us—I checked in curbside with some people who seemed as confused as me. I didn’t pay to check luggage which was great since I’d checked the generic Delta rules and it said bags were $25 to check in, but I think that meant domestic flights only. They handed me my boarding pass and I was sent on my way. Even though I’d seen you through to the security gate the day before, I was entirely lost. I kept pacing the corridor trying to follow signs saying “All Gates” this way, but they didn’t seem to lead anywhere that looked like security, so I finally gave up and asked someone, slightly abashed because it must have seemed like I’d never seen an airport when, in fact, rather sadly I’ve flown to Atlanta numerous times. Anyway, I finally got in the right direction and passed through the giant lobby and to security and I wound through the line. I got through security really quickly and I wanted to ask, “Is this all the security there is?” But I thought better of it as it would seem as if I have criminal intent to ask such a question. I found the train to the E terminal and found the bathroom as quickly as possible, used it, and then walked—very hurriedly—to my gate because I noticed that boarding had already begun. When I got there people were lining up and I sat down and intended to wait for final call (so I didn’t have to wait for people to cram their things into the overhead compartment). But I think we were on the phone then anyway. I rang Hannah to say goodbye to her as I approached the gate and I rang her when I was on the plane as well because I said I’d ring back.

On the plane, I shoved my big coat and computer bag under my seat and settled in. The young man sitting next to me gave me the distinct impression that he wanted to chat, so eventually we struck up a conversation. Carl. Carl from Anglesey in Wales (which is also where Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge live). I’ve been to Anglesey many times. It’s in North Wales and my Granddad lives close by and used to take me. Well, Carl’s girlfriend lives in Chicago and they visit back and forth. He seemed younger than me—maybe twenty-one-ish—but I didn’t ask. He and his girlfriend met at some sort of summer camp in Philadelphia. I can’t remember what she does, but I think she has a good job in Chicago. He does some sort of sports medicine or sports therapy. I believe he’s just finished his degree and is trying to move to the States to be with this girl. He seemed very nice. He also speaks fluent Welsh, but casual Welsh, he told me. There’s proper Welsh apparently and then this version of the language used by younger people in which more English is fused as the young people don’t often know the Welsh word for everything they talk about. I learnt that the phrase I thought meant “my name is…” in Welsh is actually “I like…” so I probably sounded like a right idiot. Apparently, my Welsh pronunciation is okay. Apparently, English people like to joke “Dwee hoffee coffee” or “I like coffee” in Welsh because it rhymes. The real way to say “my name is…” was much more complicated to say which is probably why I remembered the other phrase instead.

I arrived in Manchester at 10 am and I barely got any sleep on the plane. They played the film, Crazy Stupid Love, which I really liked, but I kinda watched it in a bit of a daze. They cut out all of the ‘R’ rated bits to make it PG-13. I’m not sure it ruined the film, but some of the dialogue was lost. The worst thing about trying to sleep on a plane—besides the noise, sitting up straight, and the lack of legroom—is the fact that the pillows are naff. I think if I had a big, fluffy pillow I could sleep. On a bed, I don’t really care for pillows, but when I’m on a plane I want a giant one. I usually use my pillow for back support on the plane because it’s so useless. I wrapped my scarf around my head, but I had a splitting headache and tried to go to sleep. I think at one point I dozed off—maybe only for a couple of hours—because the film had changed from Larry Crowne to Just Go With It. I was happy to arrive, but I thought my luggage was going to be lost because I waited ages at the baggage carousel. I was one of the first people there because I just zipped right through the line with my English passport and the bags hadn’t been sent off the plane yet and when they were I kept waiting and waiting and there were loads of black suitcases, but none were mine. And then I saw some with the suitcase bands strewn about—I put a yellow suitcase band around mine—and I thought, what if my band’s come off? Then I might not find mine very easily since it’s a pretty nondescript case, but it came out eventually and Jae and Rob were waiting for me. Rob drives a green Mercedes and I almost got in the driver’s side because it takes some getting used to English cars when I’m here. When I was talking in the car Jae seemed to find me hilarious and couldn’t stop laughing. She told Rob he’d met me in my wilder stage because two years prior to that I was someone who never drank and didn’t go out and have a good time and disliked that my then-boyfriend kept going out and having a good time when he was in England (Read: he got pissed drunk and puked in the local pub, tried to hit on my sister, woke up in bed with her in her step-dad’s undies, and could barely remember the night. Loads of fun!).

That boyfriend was HSS! And yes, when super drunk he did ‘try it on’ with my sister but to be fair, I was so over the relationship I didn’t even care. I was just glad I got a good night’s sleep. Rob has since become my brother in law and he and my sister have my beautiful niece Caroline.

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