‘The fact that I was cripplingly insecure and these men who I considered hot and in shape chose me felt like validation somehow (thanks to my therapist for that lovely revelation). In my mind, since I was ‘attractive enough’ to nab them – if only for a night – despite the fact I wasn’t rail thin, then there shine somehow rubbed off on me’
We really are the same person 😂😅 No lie, earlier this week I was thinking about this facet of my personality in my twenties & that I should write about it. For me it was definitely also a power thing: I felt like I wanted the power that men had and this was one of the few ways I could get it. Thanks for sharing what can be quite a vulnerable topic.
Oops! Corrected the embarrassing misspelling of “their.” 🙈😱 I don’t know if it was just millennial women and this time? I keep seeing that image circulating Insta of the “fat” Jessica Simpson. I mean she barely had any fat on her and I remember thinking at the time omg. I was part of the problem and I thought if I wasn’t Paris Hilton thin, I was fat and it was so wrong.
I think you’re right re the timing. The 00s were just so awful for how they shamed women publicly at every opportunity. Gossip magazines were the worst & I don’t think it is ‘being part of the problem’ when we’re being purposefully targeted & then manipulated to feel that way relentlessly.
the starbucks chronicles haha! I am glad despite not remembering a lot of the night you felt like it was your choice. it could have gone badly. sometimes we think back to events and wonder: how did I make it out just fine?!
Yes, I think a lot of my 20s is just being thankful that I made it out unscathed. I guess it makes sense that the brain's prefrontal cortex isn't mature until around age 25. That just explains a lot of my poor choices heh!
Wow! 😮 What a powerful and poignant read. Thanks for sharing! Whilst I didn’t really start “going off the rails” until I was over 21, I can see how this happens in society and young girls are very much not protected. But yes, how much of my (and others our age’s) past was dictated by society in that way? “…Until twenty years later, when you’re staring out of a dark window into a soulless night with a glass of wine wondering how much of you would still be yours if you weren’t trained to be prey.” Oof!
‘The fact that I was cripplingly insecure and these men who I considered hot and in shape chose me felt like validation somehow (thanks to my therapist for that lovely revelation). In my mind, since I was ‘attractive enough’ to nab them – if only for a night – despite the fact I wasn’t rail thin, then there shine somehow rubbed off on me’
We really are the same person 😂😅 No lie, earlier this week I was thinking about this facet of my personality in my twenties & that I should write about it. For me it was definitely also a power thing: I felt like I wanted the power that men had and this was one of the few ways I could get it. Thanks for sharing what can be quite a vulnerable topic.
Oops! Corrected the embarrassing misspelling of “their.” 🙈😱 I don’t know if it was just millennial women and this time? I keep seeing that image circulating Insta of the “fat” Jessica Simpson. I mean she barely had any fat on her and I remember thinking at the time omg. I was part of the problem and I thought if I wasn’t Paris Hilton thin, I was fat and it was so wrong.
I think you’re right re the timing. The 00s were just so awful for how they shamed women publicly at every opportunity. Gossip magazines were the worst & I don’t think it is ‘being part of the problem’ when we’re being purposefully targeted & then manipulated to feel that way relentlessly.
the starbucks chronicles haha! I am glad despite not remembering a lot of the night you felt like it was your choice. it could have gone badly. sometimes we think back to events and wonder: how did I make it out just fine?!
Yes, I think a lot of my 20s is just being thankful that I made it out unscathed. I guess it makes sense that the brain's prefrontal cortex isn't mature until around age 25. That just explains a lot of my poor choices heh!
I just read this article on here and it ties in really well with what we're talking about https://open.substack.com/pub/darkhouse/p/twelve-in-the-club?r=2puiwd&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Wow! 😮 What a powerful and poignant read. Thanks for sharing! Whilst I didn’t really start “going off the rails” until I was over 21, I can see how this happens in society and young girls are very much not protected. But yes, how much of my (and others our age’s) past was dictated by society in that way? “…Until twenty years later, when you’re staring out of a dark window into a soulless night with a glass of wine wondering how much of you would still be yours if you weren’t trained to be prey.” Oof!
Thanks for sharing, Barbs!