#14 THAT GUY WHO RANTED ABOUT HIS EX-WIFE ON OUR DATE (AND I SAW HIM ON ANOTHER DATE IN STARBUCKS)
Was I just a therapy stand-in? Dude, I had my own issues. Trust me!
Around 2011, Brittany had kindly landed me an adjunct interview at the technical college in Columbus, Georgia where she taught as a full-time faculty member as an assistant professor of English on tenure track. I had finished with my graduate school classes but hadn’t finished my master’s thesis (much to my thesis advisor’s dismay).
It was touch and go and at some points; I even doubted myself if I’d ever get around to it. I think after years of academic success and measuring my life in As, I was at a bit of a turning point. Where do I go from here? How do you function without grades and people to tell you that your papers were good and would earn top marks? How do you function in a real-world without academic praise and on an adjunct salary where you might as well have been paid in Monopoly money?
When I’d moved to Columbus – I did land the job – Brittany’s parents had put us up before we found an apartment. When we moved into our apartment (with my cats Jack and Lily – Jack still lives very happily with Brittany and her three beautiful kitties and two dogs), I decided to go on OkCupid (which will also factor in later when meeting Michael) to see what was out there in the dating pool.
I ran across this one guy who was a military officer. I’d meet a lot of those. Columbus is chock full of officers stationed at Fort Benning, Georgia (including Captain Cambridge). We went on a date. Somewhere generic like Chili’s or Applebee’s.
He picked me up in his massive truck that I practically needed a ladder to climb into. Our date conversation mostly revolved around him ranting about his ex-wife. He proceeded to tell me all about their combative honeymoon where they went on a cruise or maybe they’d split up later and gone on the cruise because they both wanted to go but it was like some kind of War of the Roses film or maybe they were dividing the cabin room with masking tape. Who cares?
He droned on. He was clearly not into me. I offered to split the bill. He didn’t decline. I think we kissed. We never spoke again.
Weeks later, I saw him on a date with someone else at Starbucks. We smiled at each other and I got my cup of tea and moved on.
I’d meet many a man at that Starbucks on Veterans Parkway in Columbus, Georgia – more on that later of course.
I found the following snippet in my email from my uni male best friend, Chester. I don’t think it was about this particular man but in general: “I didn't say you didn't feel. I just said you try to avoid feeling. You'd rather be analytical about a situation than elicit any type of emotional response. No crying. No anger. No jealousy. No love. Though you do feel those emotions.”
Basically, dealing with past uni hurts had turned me into an emotional robot. A feeling desert. And I tried hard to be indifferent and for a while, I succeeded. I could look at these dating situations with wry amusement.
Next time, I’ll talk about a boy with the green jumper (sweater) who I met at a nightclub in Oldham.
Don’t forget to check out the other thirteen posts I’ve written, including the one on why I’m writing this newsletter/blog in the first place.
